Hearing, but not as you know it.

Tonight as I was getting ready to head to Utah tomorrow for Calvin's surgery, I wanted to make sure that I gave the kids every opportunity to ask any questions they had and understand what is going to happen to their brother. As I was trying to give them as much information as I could- for Aaron it's never enough by the way- I searched a few web sources that I had and came across this video:

I think it's a beautiful illustration of the kind of success I hope for Calvin. I
think it helps me put some of my fears to rest, but it also guides me to more realistic expectations.

I saw this posted on a Facebook page a few weeks ago, and it made my heart sink.Before I had Calvin, I had been exposed to Deaf Culture as a child, but never really knew or understood the complexity of their culture, their lives or their struggle. I want to say, I get the struggle now. I know how hard the deaf community has worked to find acceptance, to be advocates for themselves, to gain education, accommodations and rights. It has not been an easy battle for them. Sometimes, those of us who hear do not recognize how ignorant we are to the lives of those who cannot hear. So knowing that now, I understand why this post was made. In light of all that they have fought for, of course it seems like a cop out to just stick an implant in your kids ear, give them artificial hearing and spare them the fight, the frustration, isolation and loneliness that can come with hearing loss.

That being said, it doesn't mean that I was OK with the message. When I first saw this I was LIVID! I thought, "Just as it's wrong for hearing individuals to assume that every deaf person can and should get a cochlear implant or that their lives would be better if their deafness could be fixed, it's so wrong for every deaf person to assume that hearing parents are lazy, and that we don't care about how much our children can communicate and interact with their environment". Then I remembered a study I had been told about, and understood this even better. I was told by my audiologist that 75% of deaf children have parents who do not sign to them. I won't judge these parents, and neither should anyone else. I don't know what their circumstances are, how much hearing their kids have with other assistive devices, or how much access they have to intervention and education; but this video so beautifully demonstrated why it is IMPERATIVE that children continue to learn sign language after a cochlear implant.

Sound that is processed from an implant is artificial sound. It is not natural sound amplified like it is through a hearing aid. It is a beautiful invention, but it is not perfect. 22 electrodes cannot possibly recreate the clarity or range that 30,000 tiny hairs can produce. After seeing how much sound this beautiful girl was still missing out on, I know that Calvin will still need another form of communication.  I still feel like we are making the right choice for Calvin. But now I see it with even more clarity. It's not one choice, it's choices. An implant with spoken language vs.American Sign Language is not mutually exclusive. It doesn't have to be one or the other, and more importantly... it shouldn't be!